Hanging out with Richard Cory.

It's been one month since I've left Beverly Hills.
Man oh man oh man.
It's very weird, I can barely comprehend life then. I mean, I have memories, I could tell you things about it. I could tell you what the house looked like and what I ate and where I was, but I can't really grasp it. It's like telling you a story that I was told. A story about someone else. Was that really where I was at?
I was just flipping through pictures, and only though it's just been a month, it feels like a different lifetime. Details don't come readily, I have to give it some thought. Surely that was someone else...

Goodness. I lived in a house at the top of the hill. The streets were lined with flowering trees. There was shade and quietness. You could hear birds chirping. And every house was big and pretty and had a view and privacy. Less than 5 miles from downtown Los Angeles, and it was a different world.

Having the house-key to a mansion. Two Bentleys and a Mercedes parked in the garages. A pool with a waterfall. Eating fresh fish caught by a famous actor, sitting and sipping wine with models. Hearing stories of the tabloids by people who were in them. Looking at an areal view of the place you are living on the TV. Driving through the paparazzi to get home. Sharing a bathroom with a national icon. A new $1500 pair of shoes chewed up by the purebred dog. Dinner out every night - or ordered in. Sushi and Champagne and European chocolate...

...Most miserable time of my life. I've never been so lonely or sad. Honestly, makes me cry to think about it. And that seems to be more or less the general consensus there.

My heart breaks for the broken hearted that think throwing money at the problem will fix the heart ache.
want the key?

I can't believe it's been a month.
I can't believe it's only been a month.


"Better a meal of vegetables where there is love, than a fattened calf with hatred."
true story.
I wish that I was smart enough to believe what I read without experiencing it.
But man, that lesson by itself is worth a lot. And there is so much more that I have yet to learn from that experience.


weezer had it wrong.