trouble in paradise

Add a new thing to the "Things I Hate" list

Things I Hate -- The List
1. Dragonflies.
2. Giant Dragonflies.
3. Giant Dragonflies that chase you and make you hide out in the bathroom with your cell phone on the phone with your mom because you didn't know what else to do other than call her...

I'm in Florida right now. They say that everything is bigger in Texas. They are wrong. Dragonflies are bigger in Florida.
Honestly, It was like I was in a M. Night Shyamalan movie. It was terrible (both the prospect of being in a M Night Shyamalan movie, and the actual event itself). You know in 'Signs', where you keep having those spook moments and then things are ok, and then things are not ok and aliens are trying to get through the door and kill them and they can't actually see them they can hear them. YES! This was exactly like that, but replace aliens with a dragonfly... which actually share the same facial/eye structure as aliens. bleh. Man oh man oh man.
But, as in the movie, it was simple trickery which saved the day and defeated the dragonfly....
I didn't have many options. See, there were a few inhibitors... first of all, I'm in a hotel, thus eliminating the possibility of rampaging around the room smashing things until I eventually smashed this demon bug. Second, my room is right next to my boss', who have determined me sane enough to be the guardian of their children. Any screaming, yelping, hollering, etc., might undermine their trust. As would showing up the next morning very tired offering the excuse that there was a bug in my room so I spent the night in the bathroom...
My mom told me to call the front desk and have them deal with it, and that I had her sympathies, but that she had to get off the phone to help my dad build a roof for something because rain was coming or whatever (I wasn't really paying attention. My mind was on more important things). So. I did the only thing I could do... I turned off all the lights and opened the door to the hallway so that he would fly to the light (because everyone knows that light is like bug heroin) and be in the hallway thus allowing me to not have to request a room change (and someone to pack up my stuff for me -- I wasn't going in there with this bug flying around!). Then I posted guard by the door (as close to the floor as possible) so that I could shut him out. But he swooped me!!! AND didn't go out!!! AND I army rolled out the door of my hotel room, in my bathrobe (which of course won't stay tied) and barely collected my senses fast enough to grab the door (there was like an inch left) before it closed, because Lord knows I don't have the room key in my pocket. oy. But surely this is the best plan, so the second time around I prop the door open with a suitcase instead of my foot in case evasive tactics are once again required, and though he swoops me again and I indeed do have to employ evasive maneuvers, he went for the hall light and I was able to get back in and close the door. And he was mad. He was buzzing around like one of the four horsemen was after him. Suffice it to say, sucks to be the next person who walks down the hall.
Sigh. And all of this after I conquered (or at least took a large step forward in conquering) a lifelong disdain of tomatoes tonight. Yep, thats right, I knowingly and willingly ate some tomatoes (that is a first in my life. pretty big deal, folks). ugg, but large step backwards in my non-appreciation of large bugs... Tomatoes don't chase you. They don't make you sit on the floor in the bathroom on the phone with your mom. They don't make noises like someone is rubbing a fork up and down a washboard. No. Tomatoes just sit there and provide you with flavanoids or something like that (which actually I guess they don't do). But in comparison to giant flying angry metallic sounding bugs, I'll take the tomato -- as long as I don't have to eat it.