Just wanted to remember.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

My lux run out -- A tribute to Daylight Savings.
Current mood: voracious.


I want people speaking truth into my life. As in personally me. ugg. I want affirmation that I am good at something, so that I could just make a choice about where I want to be in life and go for it. I'm starting to think that if I got it though, I would just take it and run with it. Easy. I start to crave fast food for my soul -- A cheaper substitution for something that I know would be oh-so-satisfying if only I would give it a little more time. It's like eating McDonalds before Thanksgiving dinner. And I am stupid and greedy enough to do that.
The problem of obesity in my life isn't physical. Spiritually I've grown obese. Settling for day after day of just stuffing myself with whatever is cheap and easy. APU is my drive thru. I accept whatever prepackaged holiness I can get, and I have grown fat. I don't grow my own food. I don't clean it or cook it. I don't store up for the winter. I am the epitome of a gluttonous, wasteful person.
But no one would ever have to know.
My life is precious, but I don't treat it as such. I wonder if there is a spiritual equivalent to a heart attack. I'm afraid I'm headed towards one.

I enjoy irony.

lisa.